I feel old...

Well, I did it. I turned twenty-five. I am officially one quarter of a century old. And it is eating away at me with every ounce of my being. Why is it that if two people are married that long, its an accomplishment, but I have managed to stay alive and out of jail or any major trouble that long, but its no big deal? A lot of people tell me I am so young, it's no big deal, etc., but I am genuinely taking it hard. I think all of my life, twenty-five has been "that age," where you are really an adult. And I still have no degree, no money in the bank, no retirement, nothing. Granted, I have a WONDERFUL hubby, baby, and friends. I have a home that I like enough to live in a while, and a fine job, but I just feel like I should be more accomplished by this age. Then I look at other people my age or older that do not have half of what I do and feel selfish and ungrateful. Oh, I did get to celebrate in style! Some of my favorite people joined me at the Twentieth Century Theater for the Josh Kelley show, and goodness was it fun! It was an amazing show, as we have come to expect from Mr. Kelley, but we also got to hang out with him and his band after the show! He sang me "Happy Birthday" twice along with another song, got a couple of autographs, and just watched them hang out and live life. It is nice to see such talented people who get done with "their job" continue to play, sing, and enjoy music even after the lights go down. All in all, probably the best birthday celebration ever, although the hardest one ever. Here's to enjoying the next two months leading up to the big #1 also!
Cheers

Crap hole?!?

I forgot to mention that Oklahoma, especially the city of Lawton, is terrible. I think when God created that area, he just took his least favorite parts of the US and dumped them there. It was HUGE news that they were getting an Olive Garden. Really?!? And who ever thought I would appreciate Cincinnati? I guess it took a genuine crap hole to do that.

Pride

So as a lot of you know, my brother (in-law, but really just my brother) Matt just graduated from boot camp. I have never been "that person." You know the one that has the American flag up, or support our troops stickers, or even someone who believes the war is just. But after seeing Matt go through what he has the last eight weeks, and the pride he has, it made me so proud. He has become a polite, strong, wonderful man. And although I love him more than he probably knows, I feel even more close to him now. This is probably the biggest and best thing he has done thus far in his 21 years of life. In addition, he is going to start college classes. I feel like a proud momma seeing her boy grow up into a wonderful man. Heck, I am crying as I write this. And I am not a crier. Let's hope he doesn't see this. Someone still has to keep him in line, even if it means not telling him exactly how much he means to us. Although I think making him my best man AND naming my kid after him may give him a small inkling. Oh, and I have become somewhat of that person. I bought a "MY brother is in the army" shirt. And I am wearing it proudly. And frequently.

wow.

SO, today I got to spend time with some people who are very important. I was amazed at how much I can actually like my mom from time to time, and also how much she loves my son. He genuinely is the new man in her life. Although she drives me crazy spoiling him, its very sweet. I also got to spend time with someone I have known for several years who I care about very much. I found out she is going to have a child, all alone. This worries me, but I know she is strong enough to take care of everything, and I hope she knows I am here. You can only say so much to someone. I also hope she makes the right decisions for her. This is still a secret to many, but please join me in saying a prayer for her over the next few months. Reflecting back on my new mommy nerves, I know how great hubby was and how much support, and hopefully I can mirror a bit of that to her. Wow. This is overwhelming.

Friends

Well, there has apparently been a lot going on lately that I am unaware of. Friends leaving relationships, getting over people, and at the same time, others are starting new ones. And somehow, I am out of it all. I feel like an awful friend, major things are happening in some of my closest friends' lives and I have missed it all. But I guess this is part of being a mom. I find myself with less and less free time and more and more mom requirements are coming due of me as booger continues to grow. I still want to be there for them, and I think they know that. I just have to say a prayer that certain friends continue to find strength they need to get through tough times. And at the same time, we really need that as well, both as individuals and as a family. I love my family, no matter how crazy they drive me. They are my backbone. And, I must say, I have a pretty adorable little booger that loves his momma.

ok i am selling out...

so i have no soul. none at all. those of you who know me know that i HATE apple for many reasons. and i have avoided purchasing anything by them for almost twenty five years. and i am about to sell out. i am desperate for the new ipod nano. i want the project red one. so much that i can not stand it. that is the only thing i am now asking for for my birthday. no rudi jersey, no new glasses, no wine goblets, just my ipod. oh my gosh i am the biggest sell out ever. but i still will never purchase anything from itunes. i just can't do it. that may be crossing the line. so wish me luck on my endeavor of selling my soul to satan aka steve jobs.

who wants a baby??

so i am tying so hard to be ok with all of the baby's illnesses. i really am. it just seems like for the past month it has been one thing or another. i don't know how much more i can take. at the dr's office they know my voice. and he is only nine months old. what a stressor! this time, he has been vomiting. everywhere. and my truck smells like baby vomit, oh and i got to watch him play in it yesterday. all over his new car seat. i admit, i totally freaked out on hubby. but after we found out what was wrong, i have this eerie calm about it. just like everything will be ok. i know that God will take care of him, after all, he has survived having us as parents this long. :) i also know he is a strong kid, anyone who can do as well as he has with all of the crap he has been through can get through blisters on their mouth and throat. the best part is i am trying so hard to stay positive. i know he will be ok, i really do. he is such a happy booger. when hubby brought him to see me today at work, his eyes lit up like it was the best thing ever to see his mamma. there is just nothing better. i just pray God will continue to give me strength.